I started this blog to record our family memories. So our daughter could look back and see how much we loved her every day she was growing up. A modern day baby book. As I began writing down our memories, I started to realise that the process of writing is cathartic, like a therapy, it helps me in so many ways. Last year, I was diagnosed with PND, which was a shock.
I stupidly never thought that it would happen to me. I am a pro active, get up and go kind of person, a do-er. Plus, I had finally got my little girl, everything I had wanted for many years, how could I be depressed? I soon realised it is something that you have no control over. Whether it’s a chemical imbalance or your reaction to that imbalance, it is certainly isn’t a matter of choice or character. Things that you normally can do, become a struggle. Your confidence is low and silly things cause you stress. You can be in such a happy setting, an amazing family day out, yet a feeling of incredible sadness washes over you.
Like many other mums, having a baby is the best thing to happen to me. However, since having a baby, I do not feel like me anymore. For the most part I am fine with that, people change. Physically and mentally I am so far away from the person I was before. I would like to recognise myself a little bit more. Writing this blog helps me to get me back. It encourages me to look for the silver lining and to focus on the positive things. I can still cry, when I have a really lovely day, but that is just how it is at the moment.
However, I feel that without this blog, the nice moments and happy times would be less frequent. This blog is helping to build my confidence and my self esteem. Through this blog, I am part of a community of like-minded supportive people, where previously I have felt isolated. It’s amazing how many ‘friends’ no longer bother calling when you have a baby. My blog has given me a sense of pride and accomplishment, my own corner of the internet.
So thank you to everyone who reads my blog, thanks to everyone who has left a comment or who has tweeted me.
For those who tweet words of support and encouragement when I (and others) have a bad day. Thank you to all the lovely bloggers, who give their support and their friendship so willingly. Who make a newbie blogger feel welcomed and at home. You have all helped me create something I am proud of. Whether that be my blog, or my network of now friends, I am eternally grateful.
Oh and if there are still any doubters to the positive health benefits of blogging, this makes for an interesting read.
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