We have never co-slept with Baby. It wasn’t at all that we thought it was the wrong thing to do, it was more that in those early days both Mr Hubby and I were so scared of hurting her. So we were happy when she was beside us in the safety of her little wooden crib.
This all changes when we go on holiday. For the first few family holidays that we went on, we stuck to our usual routine, popping a bed guard on her bed before we put her to bed for the night. Then we went to Barcelona and obviously we couldn’t take the bed guard with us. We were worried that she could fall out of bed, so we decided I would sleep with Baby in the double and Mr Hubby would sleep in the other bed. A few trips away later and this has become how we always sleep on holiday. I love laying beside her stroking her head or holding her hand as she drifts off to sleep. Sometimes she strokes my hair or gives me a kiss, telling me she loves me. I totally get why people co-sleep; there is nothing so tender than these moments before sleep and I love sharing them with her.
When we get home it is straight back to our normal routine, but it always makes me miss the evenings that I watch her breathing regulate, becoming steadier as she falls asleep, often she is still holding my hand. These moments are only experienced when we are away and I know it won’t be too long before they are not experienced at all. In a few years she won’t need to hold my hand, she wont want to stroke my hair and look into my eyes with her soul stripped bare. Those thoughts make my heart break a little; mourn even for the things I will lose as she grows. Nothing lasts forever and I am so grateful that I have experienced these wonderful moments with her, however fleeting they end up being.
As things change and I find myself yearning to replay these moments, I must remind myself to look ahead to her future. Excited by all the things I can teach her and by the things I know I will learn from her. To see the girl, then young woman she turns out to be. I hope she stays kind, I hope she stays loving, but above all else I hope she stays happy.
Linking up to Katie with #OrdinaryMoments