Welcome to ‘5 Things’. This week I am sharing;
They didn’t tell you about motherhood
- You will end up battered and bruised – I have lost track of the amount of war wounds that I have received from Baby. Mostly unintentional I should add, but they do smart a bit nevertheless! I have been headbutted, slapped, kicked, pinched on the nipple and used as a trampoline all in the last week. Is there a Parent Line number?….
- Support underwear is the only way you can leave the house in anything remotely fitted – I have never had an amazing figure, far from it but, post Baby, nothing is where it was before. Some things can’t even remember where they were before!
- Kids are completely mental – They are irrational, obtuse, awkward little creatures, that WILL drive you insane. FACT.
- You will lie – From ‘that sign means the ride is broken’, perpetuating the myth of the Tooth Fairy and Santa to much larger lies, you will do it, because it is how you get through the day. Just make your peace with it now.
- You won’t be the parent you thought you would be – I was going to cook everything from scratch, never shout, do sensory play and educational activities every day and generally be Mary Poppins with a Northern accent. I don’t do any of that on a regular basis and most of it I have rarely done.
I have recently realised that despite my failings as a mum, I am the best mum that Baby could ever have, because I am HER mum. Despite the bumps, the bruises, the deafness that she develops when I tell her not to do something, being a mum is what I was supposed to do. Being HER mum is what I was supposed to be. Motherhood, in spite of all the grizzly, not so glamorous truths, is the best thing that will happen to you, ever.
Comments 36
So true! My little one kicks me so much and I can’t believe his little legs are that strong.
Author
They have strength which belies their size! x
This made me laugh out loud motherhood is brutal! x
Author
Brutal but worth it… most of the time 🙂 x
YES!! So very true, I always said I wouldn’t lie but those white lies save so many tears and keeps our kids innocent for longer – ie Father Christmas, the tooth fairy etc!
Author
Yes and white lies don’t hurt anyone x
Apart from number 2 I think this works for all parents 🙂 never been kicked so much (and I used to play Sunday football).
Author
Yes you are right, although I guess some hubby’s might pop on the odd bit of support underwear! x
Ha ha so true! I get beat up by my 11 month old on a regular basis too 🙂 He head butted me so hard the other morning that I actually cried! #SundayStars
Author
They don’t realise what they are doing most of the time, still hurts though! x
I love this. Nothing of mine is in the right place anymore and I am covered in bruises. They drive me insane daily but I love them to pieces #sundaystars
Author
Thanks huni, sentiments we all share 🙂 x
Never a truer word said. The lying part you think I would never do that then the next thing you know you telling all these white lies. ☺
Author
So many things are different to what I thought they would be! x
Really enjoyed this, made me giggle but so very true. Life will never be the same… You will be bumped and bruised, your body will never be the same but it’s an amazing journey and no matter what your expectations were of how you might cope with motherhood you will be doing a fabulous job. # sundaysstars
Author
Thanks hun. Glad you enjoyed it. x
Oh! I get kicked all the time….usually in the boobs. Thinking of getting one of those knocker-blocker shields that people use in Karate to protect myself…and a crash helmet.
With putting on these, and the Spanx (to tuck in my extra tyres) and the shin pads, I reckon everything will be just dandy and I can continue to suffer the daily beatings! Xxx
Author
They always sense your weak spots! Mine of obviously mu nipples! xxx
Aawww and I am sure Baby loves you more than anything, and that you are the best mum x
Author
Thank you, hopefully! 🙂 x
Haha I loved this Aby! So true. I am definitely not the parent I thought I would be- in some ways I am better and in some ways I am worse. And totally agree with the mental kids part. 😉 xx
Author
They are all properly bonkers! xx
Oh how true. I’ve become expert at dodging kicks, especially to the bump! I didn’t think I’d be adding that to my CV anytime soon but I can, along with great with making up songs and translator of toddler talk!!
Author
Oh yes translator is a very important skill x
Oh the lies… I always say I have no change when they want to go on ride on cars in town! haha!
Author
I think that one is standard parenting lies x
What a great post! Love the one about not leaving the house without support underwear when wearing fitted clothes – so true! Haha! And I to believe we are all the best mummies to our children x
Author
I think so x
This is so true! Being battered and bruised is just the tip of the iceberg. not to mention the mental energy you have to put every single day.
Author
Exhausting! 🙂 x
love this lottie head butted me the other week an i had a slight black eye for a couples day very fetching on the school run!! haha Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars
Author
The daily war wounds! 🙂 x
Nodding along with all of these! I’m not the mum I thought I’d be and my Kids are totally mental. Also nobody tells you about the MESS!! It’s constant and uncontrollable. #sundaystars xxx
Author
Oh yes the mess! Toys everywhere all the time… and raisins!! xxx
This is all so true! Can’t even count on all my fingers and toes just how many bruises and scratches I’ve had over the last 14 years lol xxx
Author
I can imagine huni! xxx