There are lots of sensible types that spent years saving vast amounts of cash, before they even began to try for their first baby. I would like to say Mr Hubby and I were exactly these type of people…. but well, we weren’t. Our story was a little less predictable.
After 11 years together, one October day we decided that we would start ‘trying’ for a baby after Christmas. This resulted in a very exciting festive period for me, as I naively thought that I would probably be pregnant by the end of January, February latest. Well, why wouldn’t I?
However, it didn’t happen like that, months turned into years and it wasn’t long before my every waking hour was consumed by my desire to have a baby and become a mum. Eventually, after almost as much heartbreak as I could bear, we were diagnosed with unexplained fertility. We were told our options were to wait and see (not an option for us, due to my fast decreasing sanity and increasing age), IUI or IVF. IUI is much cheaper, but has less success rate than IVF. Due to my age (I was 35 at the time) and where we live, we would have to pay for our IVF ourselves.
We had no savings to fall back on, so from January to August we worked all the hours we could. We sold things we didn’t need anymore and finally (amazingly) hit our goal number in August 2012. With the money sitting in our current account and the initial IVF appointment booked, I was late. Being too scared to do a test, at the first possible opportunity (like usual), I waited as long as possible. We went to the Olympics in London, thinking but not knowing, that we would be parent’s, not wanting to believe. As to believe is to be disappointed.
On the last possible day to be able to cancel our IVF appointment without being charged a huge fee, I did a test and saw what we had longed for, for so long. Pregnant proudly displayed on the stick.
Baby’s first time on camera! An early scan at about 6/7 weeks due to our fertility issues.
At this point my car decided to suffer from a terminal illness and had to go to the scrap yard in the sky. Leaving us in a quandry, having not yet had the 12 week scan, we didn’t fully believe we were pregnant, but I needed a car to get to work! I didn’t want to spend our IVF money, in case it all went wrong and we needed it for it’s true purpose. In the end we put our faith in the universe and I bought a car. My little IVF car.
13 week scan
Finding out she was a ‘she’ at 20 weeks.
If we were to have another child, we would look to try and prepare in a more traditional way, perhaps investing is an ISA or another investment. You never know when you set out to be parent’s, what life is going to throw at you. Having savings to fall back on certainly would have taken some of the stress off us.
Luckily for us, our story had a happy ending and Baby is now approaching her second birthday. My little IVF car is still going strong and is now Baby’s chauffeur driven transport (although sometimes she does try to drive herself!…..).
Did you save before starting a family?
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.
Comments 56
We did save for baby number 1 but not for 2. Also my mum helped out with baby number 1. She bought us the pram and the moses basket so had great help too as that would be the 2 most expensive things for baby. #sharewithme
Author
My mum bought our first pram too! x
What a lovely story. It’s amazing how things work themselves out. We didn’t save before trying. We had just bought a house so everything went into that and I was planning our wedding. We found out in January 2014 I was expecting and the wedding was in August 2014 and then little Mabel graced us with her presence 2 weeks overdue in October 2014. Family and friends have been amazing with their gifts. I got the cot, changing table and moses basket from my brother, my mum bought us the pram, my nan bought us the stokke tripp trapp highchair. I will be keeping everything for future children. 🙂
Author
Thanks so much. It is great that your family helped out so much x
Wow Aby that is such a great story. I’m so pleased it happened that way for you. My best friend has been trying for a few years and is now on the IVF waiting list so I’m keeping everything crossed for her. Yes I did save for my maternity period as I knew I’d want my own pennies to spend. Now I struggle to save for anything but must try harder really. I do have a savings account for when my son wants to go to university though. xx
Author
Thanks huni. It was such an awful, all consuming time, but we got our happy ending and I am eternally grateful xxx
What a truly amazing story! It actually gave me chills! How precious she must be to you guys (the girl, not the car lol). I love reading stories like this. Gives everyone out there a bit of hope. Well done at saving!! It paid off! 😉
Author
Ah thank you so much for your lovely comment x
Oh Aby this made me cry, am literally sat on my bed crying and Mr T is looking at me like I’m a complete loon. What a beautiful heartfelt story, I have heard you say before how long you waited for baby but didn’t realise how long and I just want you to know I totally understand. We tried for 8 long years to get pregnant with Rose and had ivf in the end. I think I will blog about it sometime maybe! I went really crazy when I couldn’t get pregnant and totally know what you went through. What a beautiful ending we both got in the end. Xxx
Author
Oh bless you huni. Thank you for your lovely kind words. You should share your story. We both got our beautiful girlies xxx
What a gorgeous post – so beautifully written and wise. I think we saved, but my daughter is now 13 and my memory is not what it was, so who knows?! (I am OLD!)
Author
Aww thank you so much that means a lot x
What a lovely story which will no doubt give hope to others in the same situation.
We didn’t really save for either of ours but I wish we had now as we were really unprepared and ending up using credit cards to get by. As young as we were (I was 23 with my first) that didn’t really seem like a big issue until you realise that you’re still paying off the debt years later.
If I could do it over, I would definitely save 😉
Author
Thanks huni. When we were trying I did get hope from the stories of others. Saving is definitely the way forward 🙂 x
what a beautiful post. We saved for baby 1 not for baby 2 as we had all the big things and we got a lot of stuff for free. With baby 1 my mother in law bought the pram, cousin gave us a moses basket, mum
Author
Thanks so much, glad you liked it x
We had a little in savings whilst we were trying for our first, which took a couple of years, so it was a little easier to save up. For no 2 and 3 though we haven’t saved a thing!
Author
I think it all works out in the end, either way x
beautiful story! tbh we never saved for any of ours!
Author
Thank you huni x
A lovely story, we didn’t save for ours they were both wonderful surprises, but in hindsight I wish that we had! x
Author
Thanks so much huni x
We didn’t save for our children, but luckily we were in a stable financial position. I never realised how costly they could be, though! Good on you for making it through.
Author
Thanks, my sanity was almost gone x
What a lovely story. We also had unexplained fertility but also luckily didn’t have to go through IVF. Glad you got the care and the baby 🙂
Author
Thanks so much huni x
So lovely and such a nice surprise! Sadly I didn’t save for my first pregnancy as he was a big surprise. The second we saved for but when we found out it was twins we certainly hadn’t saved enough! Then my last pregnancy we saved because it took me so long to make my mind up that I wanted another. Saving is definitely the best way to go as it was lovely buying everything we needed in one big go!
Author
Yes I can imagine twins would put a dent in your savings! x
I have always been of the opinion you’d never have enough money to have a child if you looked at what it actually cost but savings are important to have
Author
I think you are right x
What an amazing story. I am so glad that you got the longed for child that you wished for. I waited ten years for my longed for child – oh and savings what are savings!
Author
Thanks huni! Wow that is a long time x
I absolutely love this story Aby, It must have been so magical to see a positive pregnancy test!
I had something nea to an ISA it was with the Post Office – Back when I had a big boy job working in medical recruitment (cant say i miss it, but I do miss the money) – Really great read hun, Its something we all need to look into.
Charlotte x
Author
Thanks so much huni. It was very weird indeed to see the positive result xx
I am the worse person to save up and we didn’t know or expect either of our two precious ones. Lucky I know for never having to try so there was never a time when we could save up for them. But I do think if you are planning and trying definitely save. Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
Author
My pleasure huni x
What a beautiful story! I’m yet to try for a baby and it seems like a still have time but as you said it’s not as easy as it may be for someone else – one can get pregnant fast another cannot and I have no clue which one I’m 🙂
Author
Thanks so much, so glad we got our happy ending x
I didn’t save at all because mine was unexpected 🙂 xx
Author
Nice surprises! 🙂 xx
we did’t save at all, as I’m definitely a wing it person and everything will work itself out – which thankfully it does. I know that my husband would definitely be a stress head second time round though so we would have to plan. So glad you got your surprise without the IVF 🙂 x
Author
Thanks huni x
awww Aby what a lovely ending! i am so pleased you got there in the end, baby is beautiful x
Author
Thanks so much huni x
What a beautiful post… it should be shared everywhere to give others hope for a happy ending.
what perfect timing for you! everything always falls into place just in the nick of time! x
What a lovely story thank you for sharing. We didn’t really save for our baby we were living in a mouldy rented house and saving for our first home. We started trying and unexpectedly conceived very quickly so house and baby took all our savings! x
Author
Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it x
oh yes we have account for both of them. its one thing we can do in case something happens to us
Author
Very sensible x
I had no idea that you went through this too. Same here – and we got two beautiful babies after our third round. We did save, but we’re not savers, but because I knew I was having twins I threw most of may wages into a savings account and that really helped whilst I was on maternity leave. Glad you got the best result in the end 🙂 Jess x
Author
Wow 3rd round! You guys have been through way more than us, but we all got our much longed for babies xx
Such a lovely story. We did save a bit for our first but that all went out the window when our second arrived!! I think it’s more important for us to be comfortable right now and enjoy the time with them. If there were surplus funds I’d love to think we could put some aside though.
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Thank you. Ha ha, best laid plans 🙂 x
I savEd for my son.
I’ve only one
You’ve been through a lot
You’ve a beautiful family
Author
Thank you so much, what a lovely comment x