It’s Friday, so it’s time to link up with the lovely Jocelyn from The Reading Residence and decide on my Word of the Week #WotW.
This week the word that has been on my mind most of all is;
We have been lucky enough to spend time with a few of our friends this week. I love relaxing with friends and it is even better when the children play together. Baby loves other children, so she adores these ‘get togethers’.
I have been thinking a lot about friends recently and the types of friends that exist. Since having Baby, I have felt very let down by some people, that a couple of years ago I would have classed as good friends. I guess you become boring when you have a child, or maybe they don’t ‘need’ you anymore. Either way, it seems as though it is far too much hard work to keep in touch. This has really saddened me over the last few months, but then maybe I am just too sensitive.
I have realised that the people who can’t find the time to keep in touch, don’t really deserve my friendship. For every second that I am thinking about them, I am not thinking about my daughter, so it stops now.
In the last 16 months I have made some new friends, some mummy friends. I am proud that I call these special ladies my friends and I am sure that we will be friends for years to come. I was lucky enough to see some of these ladies this week (if only briefly for one). I know each one of these ladies would help me in my hour of need and I them. On Monday, Baby and I visited K and TB and the girls had a wonderful time playing together. I have only know K for about 13 months, but our friendship is so relaxed that we could have know each other for years. Which is how I also feel about Z, who we bumped into whilst shopping during the week. These ladies are true friends, for that I am so eternally grateful.
On Wednesday Baby and I travelled to Gloucester to visit Em and her fabulous children. I had only met Em twice before this, despite this I consider her to be a dear friend. We message each other regularly and if I have a bad day, I know I can text her for words of support. We had such a lovely time and Em’s kids played so nicely with Baby.
So what I have come to realise is that true friends are true friends. Regardless of the length of the friendship, it is that click, that mutual support that matters. Having a baby may make you a less desirable friend to some, but it makes you realise what is important and the value of the ‘true’ friendships.
Which word would sum up your week?
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Comments 54
This has been on my mind a lot too lately, glad I am not alone but also sorry you have had to go through it. Lovely picture, so very cute x
Author
Thanks hun. It seems like it is a right of passage for new mums. Sad but true x
It’s crazy how much children affect your friendships but also give the opportunities for new ones xx #binkylink
Author
That’s right xx
I haven’t really experienced that feeling of being dropped for having kids but then I only really have a handful of people who I considered to be really good friends before having children. What I’ve experienced is that I see my friends without children less and less (this is also to do with distance) and have less and less communications with them. This is partly my fault and partly the fact that our lives just seem so different now… Having children really does change the dynamics of friendships – it’s probably one of the least ‘expected’ outcomes when you decide to start a family.
As you say though, with children come new friendships and I’ve made some wonderful new friends over the course of the last five years so that’s nice! 🙂 X #wotw
Author
I’m glad you have made lovely new friend too. It is just sad when people turn out to not be as expected. But I love all my lovely new friends x
I too have been through this. My mum always said once you have a baby you will know your true friends!! I found after having #1 that I was very isolated and lonely, but like you decided to go to as many groups as possible. With #2 & #3 things got easier as I had made `mummy` friends who were in the same boat. Also since #1 & #2 have been going to school I have entered the school friends circle!!
It definitely gets better xxx
Author
It is so sad that so many Mums experience this! But your mum is very wise and exactly right xxx
Sounds like you have had a fun week. I know exactly what you mean about some friendships changing after you have children, had a similar situation and it really upset me for quite a while but am gradually accepting that people change and move on and focus on the friends that are still there and my family. Sorry to hear you had a similar experience but glad you have had a great week with friends this week 🙂
Author
Thank you, it was fun! I guess it is just not meant to be x
Friendship’s been important to us this week too. We’ve had one of our oldest friends to stay, along with their children, who are close in age to our own. It’s funny how having kids changes your friendships – some people do fall away, which is sad, but other friendships grow a lot deeper and stronger.
Author
It sounds like you have had a super week too x
People are funny aren’t they sometimes? I think they just think that once you have children you are too busy to speak to them. It’s the same when you become an Expat believe me. I have never felt so let down by a couple of people in my life! 😀
Author
Ah I am sorry that you have experienced this too x
I used to think I had a fair few friends, but I feel like I have none at times now, But luckily I’m starting to build a good friendship with my OHs sister which is really nice, and keep in touch with a few old friends. I have defiantly learnt who my true friends are though.
Lovely picture 🙂 #binkylinky
Author
Thanks. You do learn who your true friends are x
I totally agree with you, people who can’t be bothered to make an effort or keep in touch are sadly not worth the hassle, friendships are not meant to be one-sided they are meant to evolve and change as we get older and take different paths in life. It is hard to accept but sometimes things are just meant to be x
Author
Yes you can only make a certain amount of unreciprocated effort! x
You are so right about this. I have true friends that I’ve know for years and others just months, as you say. Sad that you’ve had to go through losing some, but I’m glad you have the resolve to let that go and enjoy your new found friends. Sounds like a lovely week x Thanks for sharing with #WotW
Author
I think you have to let go, otherwise the negative thoughts weigh you down. Hope you have had a good week too x
I know exactly what you mean! When I worked I had a close network of good friends who shared special times with me (wedding, pregnancy etc) but soon disappeared when I became a SAHM and couldn’t go out as I could before. It is sad and I do miss them but as you said, if they can’t be bothered they really are not the type of friends I need. Sounds like you had a good week xx #WotW
Author
Same here hun. Have a lovely weekend xx
I now what you mean when suddenly people you thought were your good friends turns to be someone different when your situation in life changes. I have two lovely friends living abroad but somehow we’re still able to keep in touch and have fun at least through skype!
Author
If it is meant to be then BOTH parties make it work x
I don’t have many friends – just regular people I see at playrgroups etc. It always seems to be me making the effort of contacting them and asking if they want to do anything/go anywhere etc. Thanks for linking up to the #binkylinky
Author
It can get a bit waring if it is always you making the effort x
Firstly I am sorry you have experienced this, I have too. I have also been reading so many posts of how other mummy’s have experienced it too. I shouldn’t just limit it to mummy’s as I know my hubby has too. The little ones look very cute together x
Author
Thanks hun. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t actually matter, it is just sad that people turn out to be different to you thought x
My Hubby is my best friend and I too found that I have a different cycle of friends now I have kids. I just don’t have the time for toxic relationships or one sided ones
Author
Me too 🙂 x
We had the best day with you and Baby, Ez was VERY taken with her and we can’t wait to gatecrash your house later in the month and do it all again.
Since the kiddos arrived I lost someone I considered my best friend. With the distance I can see that she wasn’t actually that nice to begin with but it still hurt that just because I became a Mum she took off.
I made an effort since then and have built up group of fab friends who I know I can trust and rely on and feel so much happier.
Blogging has helped, I’ve met some awesome folk (yes you Aby!!) and feel as close to some of the people I see online and at conferences as I do to people I see every day, weird eh? xx
Author
Baby loves him too! We had lots of fun and can’t wait to see you again. It’s a shame about your ex friend but your right she must not have been that nice to start with if she did that. I know lots of blogging friends would help me if needed more than some real life friends. Your both which makes you awesome! Xxx
That’s so true – although it is very easy to drift apart when you have so much going on isn’t it. I know I’m guilty of that myself but sometimes I barely have time to sit down never mind do anything else. x x
Author
That’s true Cass, it is sometimes difficult to find time to do anything x
Nice when friends come over, only thing is sometimes the kids act up and I get so stressed .x
Author
That’s a shame x
great word! i know exactly what you mean about being let down by ppl, it upsets me too but ive come to realise that many ppl are wrapped up in their own lives so much so they dont even see how rude they are! #WotW
Author
Yes you are right. But I always think it only takes 1 minute to send a text x
The word, busy, sums up my week perfectly. I’ll be very glad to have some time to myself from tomorrow night when the kids go off to Derbyshire to stay with family for the week!
Author
Wow a whole week to yourself! X
love the photo!!!! #binkylinky
Author
Thank you x
One of my best friends took a VERY long time to cope with my family, she is still childless by choice. I am glad we persevered as she is such a lovely person, but found sharing me really tough!
Author
I’m glad you still have each other x
This past month I too have felt let down by people who were meant to be best friends, guess that’s what happens when you get older, sadly x
Author
It is sad x
This is the second post I have read about friendship this evening and it is truly wonderful to see 🙂 Thank you so much for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x
Author
My pleasure hun, thanks for hosting x
It’s so sad when this happens but I think it happens to a lot of people. Love the photo x
Author
Thanks, Yes it seems like it does, very sad x
A lovely word and true friends are so important. My favourite are the friends I know I can pick up with however long it has been and it is like we were chatting together only yesterday!
Author
Me too x
I only had a few close friends before having kids, and we all had children around the same time, so we ‘grew’ together. I’m sorry that you have experienced the loss of friendships, but it really is their loss and it sounds like you’ve made some wonderful new friends now, ones that will last x #WotW
Author
Thanks hun, I think you are right x