Do you have a best friend? Did you have a best friend when you were at junior school? What about secondary school? If you are anything like me you won’t have the same best friend now, that you had when you first started developing important friendships.
The idea of ‘best friends’ can be interpreted differently from person to person; you could even have a couple of best friends. So many factors can influence who a toddler holds as their best friend; they might not even have one.
A best friend to a toddler may be someone who plays the same games that they do, or someone who they see twice a week, or someone who they look like. They will talk about their best friend a lot, want to say goodnight to them as they go to sleep, or want to have things that their best friend does.
Dr Angharad Rudkin is a clinical psychologist
When I think about Baby’s friends, specifically those who I think she would consider as her ‘best friends’, the friendships started due to friendships I had with the children’s mothers. So this would indicate they have developed from exposure and opportunity, breeding familarity and friendship.
Baby’s two best friends are T and D. It is gorgeous to witness their friendships, even at such an early age.
Baby and T, who have been friends since they were four months old.
Baby with D, who she has also know since she was about 4 months old.
Since Baby started Nursery she has developed another special friendship, with another girl of a similar age.
Strong friendships often develop when a child is in a situation without their parent (e.g. nursery or child minder). Usually, it is the parent who acts as a safety blanket for their child – someone that their child turns to if they’re feeling unsure, someone who can give reassurance and encouragement. If a parent isn’t there, children will turn to other children for some of this support.
Dr Angharad Rudkin is a clinical psychologist
Children and adults are surprisingly similar in terms of their friendships. We all have friends who, despite maybe being our best friends, still annoy us every now and then; that’s just human nature. We can’t get on with all the people all the time. However, friends move on, friends forgive and friends don’t hold grudges. Children’s friendships are just the same.
Children can also rehearse how to make up with friends by playing with dolls or figures such as the VTech Toot-Toot friends. Children, for example, can pretend that the Toot-Toot friends have had a disagreement before helping them to make up. Such imaginary play helps children to build up their confidence in making and keeping friends.
Dr Angharad Rudkin is a clinical psychologist
As your child develops their ‘making friends’ skills will also improve, so they will rely less and less on your help as a parent. There may be bumps along the way, but as parents it’s our job to support, advise when asked and pick up the pieces if things don’t work out.
Does your child have a best friend? Do you still have the same best friend that you did as a child?
Disclosure: In collaboration with Vtech.
Comments 13
It’s sad but I’ve lost contact with nearly all my childhood friends. There are a few that I have on fb and we exchange the odd “hello” or “happy birthday”.. And to think when we were kids we thought we’d be friends forever!!
Great post. I really enjoyed it 🙂
Brilliant post! I feel people don’t really talk about how our friends change over the years. I’m not friends with anyone I went to primary school with anymore. Mainly because we all went to different secondary schools. There’s a lot of change in your life as a young one. And kids should be better supported to deal with it x
Those pictures are absolutely beautiful, your girl looks like she’s have THE BEST time! I have to admit I haven’t had the best of luck when it comes to friends and I don’t have a best friend now either 🙁 My son doesn’t have a best friend but he gets on well with every child he meets 🙂
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Thanks so much huni. x
I still have a best friend from my early teens. we have done everything together. However I also have ‘new’ best friends who I adore too.
My friends have changed over the years and especially since Monkey came along I have a lot to thank the NCT for! I still have friends that I had in my late teens though and although we don’t see each other as much we can pick up where we left off every time. Monkeys best friends at the moment are the NCT babies and a little boy he has got very close to at Nursery. Its great knowing he is starting to make his own friendships. xx
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I really wish we had done the NCT classes xx
You’re right, children and adult friendships are the same! I also love watching my children’s friendships grow. So sweet. I’ve known my best friend since I was 7 years old. And she was 6. We’re still best friends to this day.
Beautiful photos! The light in that first one is amazing. xx
Interesting post Aby, and no I don’t have friends from school – our lives took different courses and we lost touch. I do though have friends from netball, work and many other places that I can’t remember where I first knew them from and of course those friends that you can just pick up with like you only saw each other yesterday even though it was probably months! Friendships come in all different shapes and sizes and often provide different things too, and I guess I have best friends for different things as well too … and I hope they have other best friends too!! 🙂
Ah that’s lovely that Baby has such great friends in D & T! That’s a good point about playing friends with their toys, I never thought of it like that before. x
I’m still in contact with 2 of my old best friends from primary and secondary school, and my 6th form best friend. But my best friend now is my uni friend. We only see each other a couple of times a year, but still get on so well, are godmothers to each others boys, and the boys get on well too despite the 2 year age gap.
I can’t believe what a spitting image of you your daughter is! What is her name if you don’t mind me asking and isn’t it wonderful to capture friendship from a young age?
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Oh I don’t share her name on my blog. She just goes by her nickname, which has always been ‘Baby’ x