It’s Theme Game time! The time to be creative and possibly win a little prize too, courtesy of The Reading Residence and Red Peffer’s linky. This week the theme is ‘Glass’. I thought I was going to struggle. To find something I thought was relevant to me, which also fits within the brief, until I came across this quote,
This stuck a cord with me. Do we all damage our children? We influence them and shape them into the people they become, but is that the same as damaging them? As I have blogged about before, I am scared that Baby will grow up with the same body issues that I have. This is a big issue for me and I have already started to think of how I will talk to her about certain subjects. I am worried I will say the wrong thing unintentionally and then she will end up like me.
We have such a responsibility as parents to ensure that the imprint we leave on our children is positive. While I’m sure that this is the intention of most people, what about the mistakes we make?. How many mistakes can you make before the glass starts to crack? I hope that I just leave a smudge.
Comments 48
This is a topic that concerns me too. We try so hard to choose positive words for everything with our little bear but inevitably the outside world and reality takes over at times… The bubble bursts, the glass shatters…
Author
It is scary isn’t is. I would hate for her to take on any of my negative issues x
I often wonder this as well. I had a lovely childhood but there are still parts of me that have been defined by my parents- thats life. Unfortunately they learn our good and our not so good traits. We only have to hope that we manage to raise them how we want too without too much influence from negative sources. x
Author
Definitely Katie, I hope the good outweighs the negative/bad x
Interesting quote and subject. I suppose we do, however hard we try not to. I remember my husband mentioning to me shortly after our son was born how much he loved and cherished looking at his little body, totally free of bruises or marks, unlike that of our crazy, free-spirited then 2 year-old as she has bruises aplenty from her fun. It struck me, as though he was talking very literally and physically, it paints the same picture to me as that quote. I’m hoping for smudges. Thanks for sharing with #TheThemeGame x
Author
I think smudges are ok. At best I hope to etch ‘Love’ across her glass x #TheThemeGame
I wish that I could have a do over for raising my Daughter…. I would be so much better at being a mother now that I am a little… I mean a lot older.
Author
I’m sure you have done a fine job x
Working with children I see this every day. Every child is completely shaped by everything their parents do and say and then they often act this out at nursery. Luckily most of this influence is positive!
Author
I really hope my influence will be positive. I will work very hard to try to ensure it is x
All part of being human I suppose I think its important parents are full of love so despite the bits that go awry children know they are loved
Author
Good point, Baby will always know she is so loved. I think that is the most important thing x
I think that as parents most of us try to do the best for our children and our family as a whole. Sometimes it is harder said than done
Author
I think it’s what you say unintentionally. Small comments etc that they could pick up x
I get this, I try and be as positive as possible, but my girls have to see more than most. I try and smile through it.
Author
I hope our desire to do the right thing is enough x
Well, none of us are perfect, but I think we mostly do a pretty good job. In fact, I would say we are there to fix the chips, and wipe off the smudges, that external influences leave on them!
Author
I think that is such a good way to look at it, we fix the chips 🙂 I shall keep that in mind x
That quote is quite scary – I’m not a parent but thinking back on my parents and myself I guess in some ways it is true – my Mum is a worrier, as a child I found it funny, as I’ve got old I’m a worrier too definitely smudges though nothing big.. x
Author
Glad it is just smudges for you. It is scary, but I guess we just have to do our best x
I read this quote not so long ago… it got me thinking… and after a while I decided that it is not true… maybe in some cases but not as a general rule
Author
Hopefully our influence is positive x
Sometimes I think we do good for our children by showing them that we are not perfect ourselves. It helps prepare them for life.
Author
Good point x
I think every child is influenced a lot by their parents and it is your responsibility to bring them up as respectable citizens. It is difficult and you have to let them make their own choices when they are older. I try to do the best I can by them and hope they turn out OK!
Author
I think that is all we can do really isn’t it x
This is a scary thought, which I’ve often found myself having. But, on the positive side, I think we also need to remind ourselves what we can GIVE to our children. Love of life, joy in the day, pleasure in the company of others…it all helps.
Author
Yes definitely, I think we need to focus on the positives we give to them and not just what negatives we may pass on x
I think it’s really useful to reflect on our parenting and try to be the best that we can be but negative thoughts can just bring us down. We can only be the best that we can be. I don’t think there is a perfect parent but there are plenty that are good enough.
Author
Yes you are right, all we can do is our best, but we can try to be the best we can be x
Gosh that’s a scary quote. I do hope at the age of 3 we’re teaching POD to be a good person and learn the difference between right and wrong. Not to mention give her all the love and support she needs, we’re not perfect but we’ll do our best 🙂
Author
Sure you are doing a fab job! Scary isn’t it though x
I often think about things in my childhood that I try to do the opposite of as I feel they maybe were not the best choices my parents could have made! Then I usually think, maybe growing up we’re programmed to think our parents are wrong, and my kids will do the opposite with their kids… and it will continue in a cycle! Who knows? Very philosophical 😉
Author
It does make you think doesn’t it x
That quote is quite scary but so true. Having older children it does make me wonder what I should have done differently as they will often bring up something that I thought was nothing but that affected them in some way
Author
Gosh, I suppose I have got all that to come x
I wonder on this, reflecting back to my own childhood and I can see how this applies. I’m always conscious of this with my little boy and want my inner negativity not to effect him as it did me.
Author
Me too, I tend to worry etc and I don’t want her to become like that x
I’m sure I spend so much time trying to ensure my children font have my hang ups, that they’ll end up with ones I never saw coming! But then it’s important to show them that it’s OK to have issues as long as you have a positive way of dealing with them, I hope 🙂 Thank you for shafting with #TheThemeGame
Author
Yes that will probably happen to me too! 🙂 x
This is definitely something that plays on my mind, ultimately as long as you try your best then I think your kids will turn out ok, it is hard being a parent and worrying about this kind of thing though
Author
All we can do is our best, but it is tough isn’t it x
I try to be really aware of this – I don’t want to pass on any fears or insecurities. I guess all we can do is be aware of it and try. We night not 100% succeed but all we can do is try!
Author
I hope my best is good enough, but she will be loved and I think that is most important x
I think that you have to just try to do what you can – it’s difficult to be on your guard all the time – otherwise they sense that too. We’re all human.
Having said that, I was always very careful to tell D that I was going to a ‘meeting’ when I was off to Weight Watchers.
Author
Yes I think you have to try and be natural, but I want to avoid the diet word and the negative connotations. Focusing on being active and eating healthily etc x
I don’t think it’s positive to say that all parents damage children. My mum may not have been perfect, but she was a good parent and as an adult I honestly wouldn’t say that anything she did smudge, cracked or shattered me. It shaped me, no doubt, sometimes positively, sometimes less so, but damaged? No.
It’s great to be conscious of the impact we have on our children and wary of putting too much pressure on them, passing on our own issues but I really don’t think seeing damage as an inevitability is healthy. x
Author
I am just such a worrier, but I hope I won’t have any negative impact on my daughter. Mainly caused by negative thoughts about myself. I love her beyond words and I think as you say that we shape and etch, but not damage x