The Frustration And Joy Of A Toddler

This parenting lark is easy, said no parent EVER!  I haven’t really posted an update on Baby for a while now, I seem to have stopped doing my monthly ones, although I will still write to her every six months.  So how have things been?  Well if I am honest, really difficult at times. Baby is confident, feisty, intelligent, active, and all the characteristics that make her a truly awesome little girl, also make her behaviour challenging at times.

We have defiance and naughtiness, but the thing I find most difficult to deal with is the hitting.  I never thought my child would hit.  I thought my child would know right from wrong. However, here I am with a daughter that most of the time a complete joy and so unbelievably kind and loving; yet when frustration comes into play she lashes out.  I find it heartbreaking, how could you hit someone you love.  Everyone tells me it is just a phase and when her language improves further, it will settle down.  I do hope so.

Days at home seem to go a bit wrong at the moment, always ending badly.  So a few days ago we set off to the park to focus on fun.

Baby 1

baby 2

Baby decided that is was the most amazing fun to chase Mummy round and round!  Both of us ending up hysterical.  Pure magical moments.

Baby 3

Baby 4

Baby 5

Then she found a discarded ball and ran across the park to the football pitch (Mr Hubby would be proud!).  She is quite awesome at dribbling the ball and even scored a goal. She started to flag, so we went back to the car in time for a much needed nap.  After lunch, we decided to carry on the fun in the garden, dusting off her sand and water table after its idle winter.

Baby 6

I love her little tongue out in concentration.

Baby 7

Baby 8

I also remembered to buy some chalk, so she could do some colouring on her blackboard, which she loved.  A future Banksy?!

Baby 9

Motherhood is a rollercoaster that no-one warns you about.  You are told about the lack of sleep and that your life won’t really be your own any longer.  That stuff goes without saying. However, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional effects of dealing with a child who hits you.

My daughter is 90% angel and 10% devil, I guess that is still good going.

Has your toddler ever lashed out at you?  Any tips for dealing with it?

I am linking up with the following fabulous bloggers and their lovely linkys.

Katie from Mummy Daddy Me for #OrdinaryMoments

ordinary moment link The Simple Things

Jaime at The Olivers’ Madhouse for #MagicMoments magicmoments150x150 zps58f60c40 The Simple Things

Charly at Podcast Dove for #What’sTheStory whats the story The Simple Things

Comments 56

  1. Hello darling, it honestly is just a phase and while I say that to you in one breath I try and remind myself of it in another as we are right where you are with Rose. She lashes out terribly at times and it is so upsetting isn’t it.

    This too shall pass! Promise.

    Look at her little curl poking out from under her hat, she’s such a doll if a little minx times. Such adorable memories huni, and what a beautiful day spent together xxxx

    1. Post
      Author

      Thank you so much huni, it is so difficult and completely heartbreaking at times, but I am holding on to the fact that it is a phase. She does LOVE the park xxxxx

  2. My daughter used to bite me lol its ok shes thankfully grown out of it now . As shes 29 thats good lol. She will grow out of it promise x

    1. Post
      Author
  3. Coping with angry outbursts can be so challenging, but it’s all part of the growing up process for a toddler and often happens when they’re over excited or tired. Best of luck lovely xx

    1. Post
      Author
  4. Zach tends to lash out at other stuff. I have the odd tap from him but if he gets annoyed, he’ll walk over to coffee table or computer desk and knock stuff off. Yesterday he got into this random thing when he got frustrated with the ipad and threw it on the floor. So we have that kind of thing rather than hitting. I know that these things are not easy to deal with but it’s wonderful that you could go and let off some steam in the park and have lots of fun! Exactly what I did a couple of weeks ago! There is something about being outdoors that seem to have a happy influence on kids! Just remember, it is just a phase and she will come out of it. #magicmoments

    1. Post
      Author

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment lovely. I know/hope it will pass and it isn’t everyday. They will both pass throughout their phases 🙂 x

  5. It’s such a challenging age, isn’t it. The wee girl doesn’t hit, instead she throws or breaks things… It will pass, but I know that doesn’t really help when you’re in the thick of it. Going outside definitely helps, lovely photos of Baby at the park x

    1. Post
      Author
  6. You have a strong willed little girl there who knows her mind and is clearly challenging you. Take her cue for more outdoor fun to diffuse difficult situations, I would go mad with mine indoors all day. Hitting is wrong and through you she will know this but frustrations come out in different ways, at least you know where to grab those magical parenting moments too. Lovely photos from your park visit, I hope they will come to Country Kids #Whatsthestory

    1. Post
      Author

      Thanks huni. We will be grateful for her strong will when she is older, as I am sure it is what will make her determined to succeed. It is just a bit difficult at times x

  7. Hitting me I could handle it was the hitting others. You just have to remember that she is still very little and doesn’t understand.
    I cannot believe how much she has grown and grown up.

    1. Post
      Author
  8. Lovely moments to enjoy, and it is worth remembering that she is still only little and doesn’t fully understand the implications of what she’s doing. Us parents need broad shoulders to carry the emotions that come along with the job x

    1. Post
      Author
  9. S is the same, he just LOVES the outdoors and is always asking to go out and ride on his bike now. I find he sometimes hits and get frustrated mainly when we’re home or if he’s getting tired. This too shall pass x

    1. Post
      Author
  10. My daughter whines incessantly and produces such blood curdling screams when I tell her no or she can’t get what she wants. We share the same hope–that this too shall pass. It helps to tire them out by doing as many things outside as possible (it helps with my little lady), so that’s always a plus. Thinking of you and hoping all will be well soon.

    1. Post
      Author
    1. Post
      Author
  11. Two, and the lead up can be difficult. Is the hitting maybe an attention thing? It looks like you had a great day out. I’m amazed that she still has naps when you’re out and about – T usually powers through, stays til the end and then konks out on the drive home! hehe x

    1. Post
      Author

      It is a frustration thing I think, as she does it when you pick her up to take her somewhere and she doesn’t want to go. She does still nap sometimes, if she is knackered, but if we let her nap past about 12.30pm, we can’t get her in bed at all at night x

  12. Yes, yes, yes this all happened here as well. Is she hitting you or other kids? Mine was hitting other kids and it was awful (especially when other mothers got mega angry!) – upsetting, embarrassing, nerve racking etc. He is 22 months now and has stopped completely! It really was just a phase, they are too young to understand what they are doing or that it hurts. The best thing for me was to stay calm and say ‘gentle’ or ‘we don’t hit’ then distract with something else. Saying ‘no’ just made him do it again. Don’t worry, she’ll grow out of it soon enough I’m sure and so many toddlers go through this so you’re definitely not alone 🙂 x

    1. Post
      Author

      Such a lovely thoughtful comment, thank you. Hopefull it will pass soon as her language develops even more, Thanks x

  13. Gwenn hits too, although thankfully (???) she only hits me. I don’t take it personally though because I know it’s borne out of frustration rather than spite (or rather I hope it is!!). x

    #magicmoments

    1. Post
      Author
  14. Elsa bites when she is really frustrated but now that she can communicate better she hardly does it anymore. It must be hard when you don’t know how to tell someone what you want. I’m sure it’ll pass soon, don’t worry.

    You’ve reminded me to pester Daddy to get Elsa’s sand and water table set up!

    1. Post
      Author
  15. No tips as such, other than it being important not to over-react and make a bigger deal of incidents. 90% angel and 10% devil seems like a pretty good ratio to me – our boys have been about that proportion but Kara has rather more of the devil in her …

    1. Post
      Author
  16. Yep I think you’re right – hitting is a ‘terrible twos’ phase. My EJ tends to kick and hit but he doesn’t do it in anger but he thinks its part of a game. Nothing I say about it being bad makes any difference! Even my five year old occasionally hits me when he is particularly tired, grouchy and has been denied something he really wants. He knows it’s wrong though and he won’t push it!! X

    1. Post
      Author
  17. A lovely lovely post Aby. I think my girls often play up when I am not giving them enough attention- not in a bad way cause of course I pay them attention and they consume my time, but what I mean is I think they can almost tell when I have things on my mind and I am not entirely present, even if that’s just thinking about something to do with work when I am meant to be playing. I find that clearing my head and doing things like getting out the house, and going for a cake or to the park, does wonders for us all. X

    1. Post
      Author

      Thank you lovely lady. It is difficult when she is challenging because I immediately feel like a failure. Hopefully is passes quikcly xx

  18. Aww Aby, I could have (and maybe have actually) written this myself. Lucas went through phases like this when he was younger, I used to dread our playgroup as I couldn’t take my eyes off him but we just kept on going. I have never hit him and it really is just a natural part of their development, learning to control their feelings! She will stop, I promise! Just keep going what you are doing and reinforcing that it is wrong xx

    1. Post
      Author

      Thanks so much hun. I am lucky that it is only me she hits, still upsetting though. I know it is a phase, fingers crosses it passes soon x

  19. Aww she does look like she was having fun! An the hitting is just a phase, as others have said it all ties into language – when they can’t tell you what they want they show you!!

    1. Post
      Author
  20. Lovely post and something I can completely identify with! No joke, I had to tell Elsie off about hitting out at least 5 times on Sunday alone. I’m not sure why she does it (although I’m guessing frustration and anger) but as you say, sometimes, it’s just awful. She knows it wrong but often can’t seem to help herself. However much it is upsetting though, I do think it’s just a phase for both our little cherubs. xxx

    P.S And just think if they were 100 % angels, how boring that would be! 😉

    1. Post
      Author
  21. It really is a phase and I am so glad as my son did this too. But he wont hit me but bite me! I would always tell him off & I thought that it wont end but it did. Hang in there and sending you hugs. #magicmoments

    1. Post
      Author
  22. It can be very difficult but this age for me is the best and the worst all rolled into one. They are learning so much and trying to make sense of that very quickly, sometimes it’s a bit much for them to cope with . Enjoy and good luck #whatsthestory

    1. Post
      Author
    1. Post
      Author
  23. oh i can totally relate to this, my Sophia is two next month and she is such a tinker at times. One minute she will be kissing and cuddling me then the next she will hit or snatch things. She is awful to her poor baby brother. It is just a phase and i am hoping she outgrows it before she starts nursery in september xx

    1. Post
      Author
  24. Only 10% devil – Reuben can definitely be more at times 😉 You are so right, it will pass but it’s so hard when you’re in the midst of it (and working as hard as you do!). Lovely, lovely post – I can’t wait to meet baby, she can hit Reuben and Reuben can bite her (yes, we’ve had THAT incident here :'( !!) xxx

    1. Post
      Author

      Ah thanks so much huni. It is very difficult sometimes. It is only me she ever hits and that’s the hurtful bit, but then it is only me she wants when she is upset or hurt xxx

  25. I can relate to this, Boo has started recently to get frustrated especially when she is told no. She started by walking away from us and yelling and now she walks away and either raises her hands up above her head and then smacks her own belly (or a handy wall) I worry that it’s not going to be long before people start getting in the way.
    I think 10% devil isn’t bad going at all. All those photos are so gorgeous, you can just see Baby’s beautiful personality shine through =)

    1. Post
      Author
  26. My little lad went through the same phase. The only thing that worked was pretending to cry and saying “He had hurt Daddy” he went from anger to remorse fairly quickly.

    Great post, thanks for sharing with us

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *