When I fell pregnant, I didn’t for one second imagine that I would find myself 14 months later being diagnosed with PND. It was a real shock. What was also difficult to deal with, was how much of yourself depression can erase. Taking away not only your happiness, but your confidence and sparkle too.
Before I was diagnosed, I didn’t fully appreciate the effects that depression can have on a person, the way that is affects you in ways, other than making you feel sad. For me the emptiness and huge loss of confidence was probably more difficult to deal with, than the more expected symptoms.
I ended up feeling as if I was a completely different person, to who I was before I had Baby, which was a shame as I kind of liked her.
I have never read a self help book, if I am honest I didn’t think that it was a path I wanted to take; I just got on with things. However, over recent months my mindset has changed and I am starting to see the benefit on working on yourself, to create a better version of you.
I came across the Embrace Happy facebook page, which is run by the lovely Karin, who also blogs. Each day we are encouraged (if we chose to) to find #3goodthings from our day. The group is very supportive and it is a great exercise to take some time, even a few minutes, each day to think about the moments that have made you happy.
I really believe it the power of thought and suggestion. To some degree, I also believe that what you put out there in the world you will get back. So if I can focus on the happy and work to make sure I am a glass is half full person, then hopefully this positivity will come back to me. Fingers crossed!
While I was wasting some time researching important things on Pinterest I found #FindYourHappy, which has a lovely Pinterest page. Similar to Embrace Happy, but a bit more American, Find Your Happy has some really good resources and challenges to work through, such as these.
I am yet to read the book, but I really want to find the time and work through it. Some ideas might be a little tree-huggy for me, but I am willing to try. I really want 2015 to be the year I get me back and a super new improved me would be ever better!
Have you ever tried self improvement? Have you heard of Embrace Happy or Find your happy? Do you have any tips for staying positive?
Title image: Bethany Legg
Comments 84
I suffer with depression so I know what it’s like, and how hard it is to stay positive. I love the Pinterest tips though, really little, simple things you can do to improve your mood. I’m definitely going to try them 🙂 I hope you feel better soon lovely xxx
Author
Thank you so much huni. I hope you are o.k too x
I did something similar when I suffered with depression. I really benefited from it, and I stuck little red dots around my house and whenever I saw one Id have to think of a happy moment. I’d have them stuck near to the sink when I was doing the washing up, in the corner of my mirror, so when i was getting ready etc.
Those red dots are a great idea! I think you need lots of different tips and inputs and ideas at different times, because after a while we all need a fresh reminder 🙂
Author
That is a great idea x
Author
That is such a brilliant idea. I hope you are feeling better too x
Currently me and my daughter have discussion time before bed.
We talk about our day, what we’ve liked best and what we didn’t. It helps off loading etc
Author
That is a really good habit to get into x
Depression is so horrible – like a black cloud you just can’t lift. I’m glad you have come through and definitely think trying to focus on the positive can help, but it can be hard. Talking to supportive friends and family is good too – not bottling everything up.
Author
Sharing is definitely important x
This is my plan for 2015 too – my word for the year is Nourish!
I am also on Embrace Happy and I am finding I start in the morning going “will that make it onto my #3goodthings or that? It means I am constantly focusing on the good!!
Author
Fab word. I hope 2015 is a great year for you x
I do like the sound of Embrace Happy, and yes, I do think that what you put out there comes back. I hope this is a better year for you and you get yourself back again, lovely lady xx #MMWBH
Author
Thank you so much huni xx
I love the sound of this book. I have lived with postnatal depression for years, and it’s not easy – you do need some time to remember who you are. #MMWBH
Author
I am working on more ‘me time’. I hope you are o.k huni x
I’m loving the sound of that challenge. I wish you all the very best for your future.
Author
Thank you so much x
I have heard of Embrace Happy but I hadn’t seen them on Pinterest. These look like great starting points to think about your own happiness. I have made one of my resolutions to not let others bring me down if they are feeling unhappy this year as I am quite sensitive to the emotions of others. It’s difficult but I am trying!
Author
That sounds like a wonderful resolution x
Oh I really hope things get much better for you. This book sounds great, I love the idea of challenges to keep focusing on the positives and I definitely believe that what you put out in the world you get back.
Author
Yes exactly, so important to be positive x
Great post Aby, it is so hard when you struggle with PND I did out of the blue really with my first daughter and it hits you like a ton of bricks. What a brilliant way to channel your happy with #embracehappy – I haven’t seen the book before but it looks like it is well worth the read 🙂
Author
Thank you huni. I hope you are feeling better now x
I suffered with PND after Mini. I had CBT and it was revolutionary and totally changed the way I think. Finishing the day with three positives was my homework then and I have kept it up ever since.
Author
I think it is a great habit to get into x
The book sounds really good and I’l have to add it onto my must read pile. After letting to much depress me last year I have decided to try and do more things that make me happy. I’ll have to look on Pinterest because they look like get pins.
I wish you all the best!
Author
Thank huni, you too x
What an amazing idea! I love some of those #findyourhappy challenges. I am a big believer of trying to be postive (though some days it is harder than others!). Good luck on your 2015 quest! x
#TMMWBH
Author
Thanks hun, I hope you have a wonderful year too x
This is a great idea. I wish you a happy 2015. xx
Author
Thank you so much. You too xx
I never even realised that you felt that way.
I tend to try music for improving my mood.
Author
I don’t post that often about it as I prefer to try to stay positive. Yes music is good for the soul x
I think it is a great idea – life can get everyone down and concentrating on the good stuff has to be a positive.
Author
I do think it helps x
I do love Embrace Happy, and think it’s a wonderful thing. Should be used in the right way though, and not turn into a pressure to be happy or else that just adds to the stress! So I hope it has really helped you and you can dip in and out x
Author
Thank you x
I hope you find your happy my darling because you are one of the most lovely people I know and you deserve it. It’s great that there are groups etc there and those challenges seem a good idea. I’ve had CBT before for a very short time and I took a lot from it about how to retrain my thoughts xx
Author
Thank you so much huni that is such a kind thing to say xx
That pinterest board sounds great! It’s just like you said, you can laugh at some of them, then when one resonates you can pick it up and run with it!
I heard an awesome tip once that’s stuck with me… Think of 3 things that you love doing …That GIVE you energy.
(depending on how out of practice you are at prioritizing yourself, this may take 1 minute or a week to answer!! – but you gotta do it!)
…It can be anything! Reading a book, sitting down with a magazine; having breakfast by yourself; going out for a coffee; a meal out; gardening; crafting; organizing things! …Whatever it is!
Now, make sure you start doing them!! At least 3 times a week!!
Author
That is a great idea huni, thank you for passing it on xx
I am ready for the book as well!
My New Year resolution was to smile more but I am struggling sometimes to find a good reason.
I might have to join this “magic” group.
Author
You should do if you search Embrace Happy you will find it x
I think Karin is great and I am so pleased how much embrace happy took off. Depression is spiteful and nasty but you can come out the otherside.
Author
Thank you huni, Karin is so supportive x
Knowing you and your blog a bit it’s hard to believe that you suffer/have suffered from depression because you just seem like such a positive, busy, forward thinking, organised kind of person! I love the idea of the happy projects though – I think they can help anyone – not just those who suffer with depression – we all need lifting and reminding of what we love about life every now and then. X
Author
I think that was the biggest shock to me. I think I am all those things yet still felt anxious, stressed, empty and sad. x
Love everything about this post – congratulations to you for embracing happy and starting your own Journey to Joy. As you know I’m on that journey myself this year and as a fellow PND survivor I know that for me it’s finding the nuggets of joy along your daily road that make the most difference. Love the Pinterest resources too – will be pinning and printing off! Here’s to an amazing 2015 honey x
Thank you for linking up at #sharethejoy – hope to see you again next week 🙂
Author
Thank you so much hun. I hope 2015 will be the year of big changes and progress for both of us x
Well you have admitted having PND which is a huge thing in itself and something you should be proud of doing I think… I tend to find writing things down helps a lot, I might never share how I am feeling, infact I am rubbish at it and keep it to myself, but online journals or locked journals which no one can see are often a great escape, just writing it all down, everything, it helps x
Author
I think being aware and making strides to change the way you think are so important x
Nobody has ever described it as emptiness before. Reading it has made me well up as I think that may be me. I feel empty too. x
Author
I hope you are o.k huni xx
I’ve never heard of Embrace Happy but I like the sound of it and it really fits my goals for this year!
I can really sympathise. After my son died I (probably quite obviously) was very depressed, for a long time. I would say the first year after I lost him is a gaping hole in my life that I can’t really remember much about and I emerged nothing like the girl I was before.
I used to cut through the University campus near my house and one day there was an open day going in, I called in and got talking to one of the English lecturers – next thing you know I had an interview and then a place. It saved me.
Life needs a focus and that is what studying gave me. I’m sure that focus can be anything – blogging is a great one!
Depression robs us of so much but there is happiness just around the corner, if we believe.
Best of luck in 2015!
Xx
Author
I cannot imagine what you have been through and I am so glad you found something that saved you. You are a real inspiration xx
I love embrace happy – such a great concept
Author
Such a supportive community x
That sounds like a great challenge – trying to focus on positives really helped me through my PND. Emptiness is a very good way to describe it. Really hope that this helps you find your happy xx
Author
Thank you huni, I hope you are feeling better xx
Finding a happy place and even thinking about a many positive things as we can is a great practice. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better and are finding your happy while combating the depression.
Author
Thank you so much x
Lovely post Aby, you have such a way with words!
Love the #3goodthings idea – I know I often go to bed thinking about all the crap things that happened that day, it would be much better to focus on the positives! x
Author
Oh thank you, that means such a lot. Yes I think it does make you look for the good x
I’m not a great reader of self-help books either. It’s a bit like reading instructions that come with a new DVD player: I’d rather just have a go and work it out myself? Totally understand what you mean when you say you “just got on with it”. But anyway, this year is all about self-improvement for me. That’s what I’m using the blog for now, to record my progress. We’ve had a weird year; one that started off full of promise but then got steadily worse towards the end but I’ve had some really great news this week and also we’ve made a brave but “right” decision that is going to have a big impact on us as a family.
Good luck with your 2015.
xxxxx
#thelist
Author
Thank you huni. I am looking forward to seeing how you get on this year, This year will be our year! xxxx
I have also been suffering since having a baby. I have felt like I have totally lost myself, my confidence, my sparkle, just me really. I have been working on lots of ways to help improve how I felt and like you hope that 2015 is the year that I return. I will definitely cheek out the #Findyourhappy pinterest page and I also make a note of 3 things from the day each day. I started it a few months back and already feel different about things. Great post and I hope 2015 is YOUR year.
Author
Thank you huni. You should join Embrace Happy on Facebook, it is very supportive. I hope you start to feel better soon. I think it is wise to invest time in finding strategies that help, rather than just trying to cope. I hope 2015 is your year too xx
How funny (or freaky?). I wrote a similar post the other day about finding my happy (place) as well. It seems to be a common theme against mothers. Thank you for sharing the pinterest page. That looks like something that would be really helpful 🙂
Wishing you a wonderful year that just keeps better brighter and better 🙂
I totally resonate with this post. Last year I did the #100happydays challenge on Instagram and it was a great way to focus on the things that were making me happy each day and some days it was literally just going to bed. I hope this is the year you get your groove back xx
Looks like a really good place to start even if you just dip in and out of the book.
Author
I am sure it will help, even just a little x
Such an important post for so many reasons. Embrace Happy sounds like a fantastic idea,. sometimes people need some guidance and a friendly hand to hold to get to where they need to go. I really hope 2015 with be a good year for you and Find your Happy! xx
Author
Thank you so much huni, I really appreciate your comment x
Lovely and honest post. I am glad you are finding ways to feel better and totally agree that it can help to find positive things and alter your mindset – not that that is that easy!! I didn’t use a self-help book, but when undergoing IVF, I found meditation really useful. I thought it would be too ‘tree-huggy’ as well but I think because I wanted to throw everything at our treatment, I embraced it and it really helped. I think anything that can help you look at things differently is worth a go. Good luck in finding you and your happy 🙂 #thelist
Author
Thank you so much huni, I am so glad you found something that helped you x
Love the sound of find my happy and embrace happy. I haven’t been diagnosed formally, but Im pretty sure that I do suffer with depression, and I am determined to make this my year, I have the gratitude tin for a little something each day, I’m attempting a photo a day on instagram, and Im doing my weekly positive list.
I hope everyone struggling can make this year a good one.
Author
You should join the FB group. It sounds like you have lots of great strategies in place to help x
Pnd is awful i suffered it after having my first, thankfully i have not since having my other two children. I am glad that you are starting to feel a bit happier now and spend more time on yourself. I totally believe in positive thinking . Good luck in finding your happiness again and being the you that you want to be xx #TheList
Author
Thank you so much huni. I am so glad that yours did not recur x
This is lovely, Aby. I take part in Embrace Happy too, and while I don’t post every day it is useful to think that even on a crappy day there are little things to feel grateful for. I went to a happiness club in my home town a couple of years ago – a particularly useful point from that was to list what is most important to you, think about where you are now with them (1-10), where you want to be with them (1-10) and the small steps you will need to take to get closer to that number. I’ve got a post on my blog about it if you’re interested xxx #TheList
Author
Oh thanks huni, I will take a look at your blog. I feel I feel a strategy when I feel the anxiety/stress start to build. Thank you xxx
Sending you love and happiness lady. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts
Author
Thank you so much x